I'm sure that my parents had great intentions of helping me to have an awesome party, but something went terribly wrong that fateful day in October. I had all my family at our house, and several friends from Mrs. Cadman's first grade classroom. I was having a great time at the party... until he arrived.
I literally remember it like it was yesterday, not 17 years ago (wow, that long?!) The party was going on in the basement, but I went upstairs to help my mom in the kitchen when I saw a weird van driving down my street. It was a big, purple delivery van with balloons painted on the side. My heart stopped. I remember saying something like, "THAT'S NOT COMING TO MY PARTY, IS IT?!" But it was too late... Buffo was already here.
Buffo The Clown's claim to fame is that he is the "world's strongest clown," and I have no doubt that his title is accurate. I will have to ask though... What is the link between entertaining children and ripping a phone book in half? To this day I'm still not sure. Please feast your eyes on this horrific photo to see what I'm talking about.
No, that is not a cover of a horror movie. It's a promo shot for Buffo, The World's Strongest Clown. There are several other frightening photos on Buffo's website... if you are brave enough to visit. Buffo will kill you.
Imagine that you are me; a bright-eyed, intelligent and adorable child celebrating a birthday. Now replace the phone book in that photo with your own soft and fragile skull. That basically recreates my party for you.
The worst part about it is that someone in my generally technologically-challenged family managed to capture the whole show on video! It still gives me chills thinking about it, and we unfortunately had to watch the tape again this weekend while the family was together. Oy. Between making passes at my Mom and Aunt Carrie, Buffo annoys the sh*t out of me by making me do stupid magic tricks. The worst of which involves a multiplying magic wand that, to this day, still makes my Dad cry with laughter. Ya, it's funny (no, it's not.)
In conclusion, I would like to say this:
Buffo the Clown- I know you are a good clown. You are still around almost two decades later entertaining the masses of Western Pennsylvania with your feats of strength and comedy. Kudos to you on doing what you love. Keep up the good work.
Parents of the World- Don't ever book a scary clown for your kid's birthday... or any clown, for that matter. It just... it just really isn't a good idea. Especially if this particular clown can bend steel or crush a baseball in one hand. Do your kids a favor and take them somewhere with a ball pit. Kids go nuts over that stuff.