September 8, 2008

2008 VMAs: Feeling the Effects of Recession

I'm well aware that I get much more invested in the MTV Video Music Awards than the general public. It's just that they have become a huge part of my life since I was probably 12 or 13. I remember watching the amazing performances, the crazy "live television" antics and the overall grandiose nature of the event. With the 2007 VMAs in Las Vegas probably being the biggest shitshow of them all, I thought there was no way MTV could do something as disorganized and lame, but they somehow managed to outdo themselves and make the 2008 VMAs even cheaper looking than before. You'll see my comments below about the venue/production, but this was probably the most budget VMAs in history, which is particularly sad considering the fact that the night was the 25th anniversary of the Awards.

I thought Russel Brand was going to be a fantastic host, especially from his funny promos with Britney Spears and LL Cool J, but I stand corrected. Brand was mildly funny at a few points during the night, but was loud and screechy and way too preachy about politics. Does he not like Republicans? I'm not sure. He also spent every appearance in front of the camera telling us about how exciting the night was, and reminding us of what we had just seen 30 seconds prior.

I was updating my Facebook status (yes, I'm a tool) as the show progressed, and will now share all the updates with you with some added comments on each.

Patrick thinks this Dan Castinillo or whatever is the biggest tool that ever tooled.
Ok, so his name is Jim Cantiello but he's still a tool. Can someone please tell me ONE thing about him that says MTV? He's not particularly young, cool, edgy or informed and is a terrible reader of the teleprompter. Please hire me for any future needs, thanks.

Patrick knows we're in a recession, but don't they have ANY budget for the VMAs.
Like, seriously... What gives? The venue for the VMAs looked like a rented out gym somewhere. We could see the stagehands moving around behind EVERY presenter, and the whole thing basically looked like a slightly-larger version of TRL. The audience was tiny and lacked the big-name artists we've come to expect from the VMAs. Also, rule #1 of television, you never show the side walls or back wall so the viewers don't know how big the set really is.

Furthermore, the whole idea of having the VMAs in L.A. was weird to me, because almost every single celebrity of worth was in NYC for Fashion Week. No wonder there weren't many big names at the event because they were all still on the East Coast (except Lohan, who flew out to present. Don't ask me why). I'm sure the logistics were tight for NYC, but c'mon... Use your brains.


Patrick says the VMA for most random presenter goes to... mic-less Demi Moore
Why was Demi there? I didn't see Ashton. Was she there because she was one of the few celebs still on the West Coast? Why didn't she have a mic when she walked out and had to go "WHERE'S THE MIC?" when she finally made it down those crazy rotating stairs? Is she promoting something? Does she has a new project out? I didn't get it.

Patrick is waiting for Oscar the Grouch to pop up next to the Jonai.
Please tell me their performance set didn't look like the stoop on Sesame Street. I actually thought it was kinda cute, though.

Patrick wonders why they just ruined Katy Perry's performance by going to commercial.
They hyped up Perry's "Like a Virgin" rendition all afternoon then cut it and her peeling banana costume off with a commercial break. We came back from commercials to her finishing up "I Kissed a Girl." Was this intentional or an example of poor direction/timing? Was disappointed.

Patrick is disgusted with Phelps's overexposure.
I mean, you better host SNL and then NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN, PHELPS. Take your 12,000 calorie breakfasts and go back to the pool.

Patrick loves Fannypack.
They're really cool, no?

Patrick wonders if they're going to f*ck up these pre-taped performances all night.
Pete Wentz's interview with Heidi and Spencer got clipped (thank god) and Russel Brand had to stall while they reset for Paramore's performance. Was v. confused.

Patrick really likes Paramore.
I just like them. Wasn't a stellar performance, but at least they performed.

Patrick is waiting for someone to fly off the rotating staircase.
Russel almost bit it right at the top of the show, Demi looked very scared and Shia and Slash had a hard time dismounting. Bad idea, MTV.

Patrick frickin' loves P!nk.
I'm partial to P!nk, but I'm so happy that someone actually utilized the stupid "movie studio" idea and did something with a bang- literally. Her stunts/pyro were cool and I happen to love the song "So What".

Patrick wonders WHY THEY CAN'T TIME THE PERFORMANCES/COMMERCIALS CORRECTLY! He just missed the entire Ting Tings performance.
Ting Tings were nominated for Video of the Year and viewers only got to see about 10 seconds of their performance because it was clipped by commercials. Hope the 90 people inside the venue enjoyed it.

Patrick now knows that Jordin Sparks doesn't want to be a slut
Good for her.

Patrick thinks Rihanna is hotter than the fat YouTube kid.
I actually kinda liked the Numa Numa song.

Patrick thinks Rihanna also looks like a black P!nk tonight.
Didn't she????

Patrick appreciates Christina Aguilera for actually attempting to bring it.
While I totally thought it was Lady Gaga performing at first, I was happy to see an artist finally doing a big spectacle number with cool theme and dancing. Christina doesn't normally do a lot of choreography (perhaps that's why she was lip syncing) but I applaud her effort and her bangin' post-baby bod.

Patrick is happy too see that Bjork won the Best New Artist award.
Oh, that was the guy from Tokio Hotel? Weird...

Patrick is SOOO ANNOYED by Jim Cantiello. He is a DOUCHE. How did he get on MTV????

Patrick is confused. Are we NOT supposed to see these performers during commercials?
LL Cool J was clipped, too.

Patrick didn't know Kid Rock was still relevant. Well, good for him.

Patrick KNOWS this Britney sweep is totally PR bullshit. I mean, not cool
So... the biggest issue at hand was the ass kissing of one Ms. Britney Spears. Shouldn't SHE be sucking up to THEM for her shiteous performance last year? She won 3 awards for the pitiful video for "Piece of Me" including VIDEO OF THE YEAR? I mean, give me a break. This whole show was all about Brit and it's clear it was MTV's way of creating some positive momentum for the eminent Britney "comeback". It just really chapped my ass.

Ok, I just got angry again. Please share your thoughts with me as a comment.

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