Well, it’s here. That time we always knew would come, but kept in our minds as only a distant possibility that would never be real- the beginning of the end of summer. Today is August 21st- I know, I can’t believe it either. Don’t get me wrong, there are still a few more sun-drenched days in the park, sangria Sundays on Brooklyn rooftops, and freaking out Pat by spontaneously getting naked next to him pool-side on Fire Island. Sorry, I digress. [I hate you, Doug.]
Summer’s not over, it’s just. . . peaked. A lot of good experiences are behind us. But instead of getting sad and already starting to miss the sun, what I’ve done is start to empathize with summer. It’s sort of like telling an older friend, “yeah, you’ve peaked, but you’re still a hottie”. If I’m personifying summer a little too much, it’s because I do identify with it. This summer I’m afraid I too have peaked- I’m in my own August. In late July I turned 25. Yikes. A quarter century. Half of a half century! There’s no kidding yourself or anyone else you’re college-aged anymore. All the signs are there. The hair is thinning, the smile lines are there no matter what mood you’re in, you start paying for strippers to spend time alone with you at the back of the bar- the list just goes on.
But like the last precious days of August, we have to realize that we too have some hot times ahead of us as we head into our late 20s, and dare I say, 30s. The media has provided us with plenty of role models for staying in our prime past our peak. There’s the obvious Sex and the City gang, all those old ladies on She’s Got the Look, and even Obama’s got abs at 47.
It just so happens that August brings with it the birthday of my favorite post-peak media whore- Madonna. The girl is 51 now and is still going strong, dating men younger than I prefer even at 25. And 25 is practically the number of years ago that she peaked! Most of us old gays (vs. new gay Britney fans; I’m not talking age here) agree that Madonna’s zenith was the period from the Like a Prayer album to her Vogue single. As Vogue spent its 3 weeks at number one and slowly wound its way down the charts, it took with it that iconic, blonde-ambition fueled Madonna, leaving in her place a hard-working, yet hit-or-miss music-making cougar.But just like what we could potentially find in these dog days of summer, Madonna’s post-peak has given us lots of fun: we slowed down for Erotica and Bedtime Stories, got down with Ray of Light, danced to Music, ignored American Life (grab an umbrella- that was one big summer rain storm), and really enjoyed her mid-life disco crisis with Confessions On A Dancefloor and Hard Candy.
The point is- yes, it’s August 21st, but there’s still tons of summer fun left! The timing of Madonna’s latest single Celebration is perfect for acknowledging that there’s no time to waste in taking advantage of the end of summer. In true Madonna style, the lyrics are a little cheesy and she talks on the song waaaay too much, but it’s got a good beat, and it’ll be stuck in your head in no time.
So to cope with August (the summer’s or your own), turn on some new Madonna, abduct a spicy, brown 20-year-old model from Brazil, and no matter how cheesy it is, just suck it up and celebrate!
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