The World's Strongest (and Scariest) Clown

The other day I posted an awesome photo of me as a clown from Halloween when I was probably 3 or 4 years old. My Uncle Jim reminded me of a very traumatic birthday party I had when I turned seven years old that I cannot resist sharing.

I'm sure that my parents had great intentions of helping me to have an awesome party, but something went terribly wrong that fateful day in October. I had all my family at our house, and several friends from Mrs. Cadman's first grade classroom. I was having a great time at the party... until he arrived.

I literally remember it like it was yesterday, not 17 years ago (wow, that long?!) The party was going on in the basement, but I went upstairs to help my mom in the kitchen when I saw a weird van driving down my street. It was a big, purple delivery van with balloons painted on the side. My heart stopped. I remember saying something like, "THAT'S NOT COMING TO MY PARTY, IS IT?!" But it was too late... Buffo was already here.

Buffo The Clown's claim to fame is that he is the "world's strongest clown," and I have no doubt that his title is accurate. I will have to ask though... What is the link between entertaining children and ripping a phone book in half? To this day I'm still not sure. Please feast your eyes on this horrific photo to see what I'm talking about.


No, that is not a cover of a horror movie. It's a promo shot for Buffo, The World's Strongest Clown. There are several other frightening photos on Buffo's website... if you are brave enough to visit. Buffo will kill you.

Imagine that you are me; a bright-eyed, intelligent and adorable child celebrating a birthday. Now replace the phone book in that photo with your own soft and fragile skull. That basically recreates my party for you.

The worst part about it is that someone in my generally technologically-challenged family managed to capture the whole show on video! It still gives me chills thinking about it, and we unfortunately had to watch the tape again this weekend while the family was together. Oy. Between making passes at my Mom and Aunt Carrie, Buffo annoys the sh*t out of me by making me do stupid magic tricks. The worst of which involves a multiplying magic wand that, to this day, still makes my Dad cry with laughter. Ya, it's funny (no, it's not.)

In conclusion, I would like to say this:

Buffo the Clown- I know you are a good clown. You are still around almost two decades later entertaining the masses of Western Pennsylvania with your feats of strength and comedy. Kudos to you on doing what you love. Keep up the good work.

Parents of the World- Don't ever book a scary clown for your kid's birthday... or any clown, for that matter. It just... it just really isn't a good idea. Especially if this particular clown can bend steel or crush a baseball in one hand. Do your kids a favor and take them somewhere with a ball pit. Kids go nuts over that stuff.

Buffo Strikes Back

I'm sure you've been my rant about Buffo the Clown and how my family likes to torture me with the memory of that ill-fated birthday party... If not you can learn about it here. Well, apparently someone in my family felt the need to continue the torture by purchasing a Buffo the Clown t-shirt and having it mailed to me. NOT COOL!
I mean... I'm not really sure how I feel about this. I will say this though- If you are going to send me an anonymous gag gift if the mail, make sure that they don't put your receipt in the package, AUNT PATTY AND/OR UNCLE JOE!!!

Sleep with one eye open.

Bye Bye 2007

On the final day of 2007 I thought it would be nice to write a recap of the past 365 days and look back at everything that has come and gone over the last year... but then I realized that would take a really long time and require lots of thinking and writing, and you probably wouldn't want to read it anyway. So, I have decided to share a few of my favorite blog entries from '07. Yes, I'm that lazy.

One of the great things about living in New York City is that chance to see some great concerts. I was lucky enough to see Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera and Kelly Clarkson up close and personal.

In March Carolyn and I decided to treat ourselves to a vacation, so we headed down the white sandy beaches of Miami for some R&R.

I had such a great time that I went back with my friend Kelly 4 months later.

Of course I always have my trusty cam with me, so I took a few photo spreads at cool places like the Conservatory Gardens and the American Museum of Natural History.

I started a new job with iVillage.com in May, and start producing a daily video called "On This Day."

In May my cousin Erin had a baby girl, Maura, who I quickly became obsessed with.

June was a quiet month, and I spent a relaxing afternoon at The Bronx Zoo and took a ton of photos.

It was also in June that I discovered a website that changed my life: SomeECards.com

In July I was paid a special visit by my Mom, brother Drew and cousin Jim.

And we kept our Independence Day in the Park tradition alive!

Somehow Buffo The Clown managed to creep back into my life after years of repression.

Britney's VMA performance in September sparked Carolyn and I's vlogging debut. Which led to a recap of Big Brother and America's Next Top Model.

and I turned 25 and had a great birthday weekend!

I know there were so many other things that happened that I've written about (and a lot things that I didn't write about) that I can't remember at the moment, but I want to say thanks to everyone who helped make 2007 one of the best years ever. Also, thanks to everyone who reads my blog on a daily/weekly/by accident basis! I really appreciate the comments and feedback, and hope my little piece of the web brings you at least mild enjoyment.

Thanks for reading, and here's to another great year in 2008!

Adventures in Carlisle, PA

Happy Monday, everyone! Hope you had a nice weekend... I know I definitely did. I had the chance to get out of the city for a few days to visit my family in central Pennsylvania. My aunt and uncle just bought a beautiful, new house so the whole Sandora side of the family (minus Erin, Jim and Jay) got together.

I took Amtrak from NYC to Harrisburg with my friend Kelly (of Miami vacation fame) because her family lives about 5 minutes from my Aunt's new place... small world! Kelly and I also rode a bicycle built for two at her house. It was amazing, and I will share the photos with you as soon as Kelly passes them along (hint hint, Kells.) We also watched the infamous Buffo video, to which I will dedicate a full post tomorrow.

I would share my own photos, but I left my camera on the train on the way there :( :( :( I'm beyond bummed. If anyone finds a silver Casio Exilim camera inside a sweat band with a picture of a guy and a girl holding giant cookies up to their face while riding on a train it's mine! Thankfully Uncle Jim took a few photos from the festivities and forwarded them to me. Enjoy.

The family bought me a cupcake cake to for my b-day because they probably won't see me in October (and I got to wear that sweet hat)


We missed Uncle Joe's birthday, too so he went next


And we missed Aunt Patty's, too... so then it was her turn


And Kelly showed up in the middle of all this, so she got to go, too.

As soon as I retrieve some additional photos I will post. And again... if you find my camera please send it back because I am lost without it :(

Muppets, Dinosaurs and Ponies... Oh my!

When I was young I remember going to see Sesame Street Live with my mom, aunt and cousin. I really don't remember anything about the show itself, but I do remember going and sitting in my seat. I think we bought peanuts and one of those cool fiber optic wand things. I thought the show was fun, and luckily I was never one of those kids who was freaked out by costumed characters. I think kids either go one way or the other. Some kids go to Disney World and can't wait to get a hug from Mickey or Minnie, others are so terrified of these giant characters they run in the other direction.

A few weeks ago I saw a commercial for a new show that will have kids going nuts over it or cause scarring night terrors for the majority of their adult life. It's called Walking With Dinosaurs and I think it looks like the coolest. show. ever. Take a look at the trailer and just try to convince yourself that you don't want to go see this.



I seriously want to go to this. Jeanette- Are you still in? They have a whole YouTube channel devoted to Walking With Dinosaurs... it's amazing. Seriously. Let's go. The best tickets are only $99 and considering that it costs $350 to see that other dinosaur show (sorry, Madonna) I think it's well worth the cash.

There was another live show make its rounds across the country that I can't go without mentioning, too. Unlike Walking with Dinosaurs, this one looks like the most terrifying experience a child can have, besides maybe a visit from Buffo. Behold the horror of My Little Pony Live.



Truly frightening.

In theory, you would assume that a children's show of realistic-looking, life-sized dinosaurs would be a lot scarier than a group of colorful and happy ponies, but in practice it's a completely different story. Maybe I just have a warped sense of what's going on under those puppets. Under the dinosaurs I imagine there are master puppeteers and acrobats who have trained for years to believably manipulate these giant beasts. Under the ponies I just picture unsuccessful musical theater majors who are just happy to have a job where they don't have to explain that "tall" actually means "small" to Midwestern tourists.

Discuss.

I Like To Embarrass Myself

My former friend (I half kid) Caitlin was doing some searching on YouTube and found this amazing video of some of my college television work. So, I decided to just bite the bullet and post it on my own blog and embarrass myself. This is from my college's mock democratic convention in 2004. If you can even sit through this whole video I will give you a dollar*.



I'm much better at talking about TV shows than politics. Good thing I don't embarrass too easily... Let's just hope that Buffo tape never sees the light of day.



*nothing